Heaven is here

Have you read this book?  Perhaps one my greatest "idols" that I look up to, secondary to my own mother, is Stephanie Nielsen.  I recently read her biography entitled "Heaven is Here", and I don't think I have ever sobbed as much while reading a book.  You see, around 2007 (not sure of the exact year) Stephanie was enjoying a beautiful life with her four young children and husband.  Her husband, Christian, was taking flight lessons in order to get his pilot license.  At the end of his training, he needed to complete a significant flight.  He decided to take a day trip to New Mexico with his instructor Doug and his wife Stephanie.  On the way back from New Mexico, Christian stopped to refuel the plane in St. Johns AZ, just 30 minutest (flight time) from their home in Mesa.  Shortly after the plane took off, their were complications with the plane and it crashed.

Stephanie recounts her experience coming to consciousness right after the plane crashed and being engulfed in flames.  She couldn't see a thing and could not get her seatbelt off.  It was her angelic grandmother that helped her get her seatbelt off and guided her to where the door to the plane was so that she could get out.  Stephanie saw the skin melting off her arms.  She was taken to the AZ burn center where she was placed in a medically induced coma for 3 months.  When she awoke, her life was forever changed. 

Her children were scared to see her.  Her daughter refused to look at her for months. Her youngest son who was about a year old at the time of the crash, didn't even know who she was.  He kept crying for his "mom" who was Stephanie's sister that took care of him while Stephanie was healing.  After a year of excruciating pain, surgery's, and difficult trials just trying to complete basic functions (bathing, toileting, eating), she was able to hike "Y" mountain in Provo Utah.  I can't even properly share all that Stephanie went through-go read the book! My heart ached for Stephanie.  She is a beacon of hope in my life.

Today I was thinking about how many bridges I've burned with friends and family I love.  How much pain  I have caused.  I also thought of how much others have hurt me and hurt my husband.  I started feeling sorry for myself.  I thought if the opportunity presented itself to move out of state for schooling, maybe I should look forward to the chance to start over.  Then I thought, life is much too short to dwell in self pity.  I can ask forgiveness of those I have hurt or offended.  I can not make them forgive me.  I can't ask them to change their ways so as to stop hurting me or my family members.  And to me that is the hardest part-watching family get continually hurt.  I look at Stephanie and see all that she has suffered.  All that her whole family has suffered.  How much her siblings and extended family members have reached out to support and carry her.  How incredibly loving her husband is, no matter how depressed she has gotten, no matter the tattered scars on her body.  In her book, Stephanie closes by saying how her scars are a continuous reminder of how much God loves her and how precious life is.  They are a reminder that each day is a gift, not to be wasted.  And so with that thought, I resolve to try a little harder, to do a little better.  To be grateful for what I have, and to share my love and service with others.  To make the wrongs I have committed, right.  I am grateful for my life and all I have been given. Heavenly truly is here on earth.